That academics write stupid things is hardly a secret. I’ve recently come across people asking questions asking about books/articles claiming a “Vandal” connection for the Przeworsk culture. These were written by Andrzej Kokowski with some other (for example, Magdalena Mączyńska) archeologists working in Poland.
Ok, well, these guys may well be good at digging holes and item reclamation (which are important!) but their cognitive skills appear to be underdeveloped. The thesis they present is a retread of various stories previously told by the linguist turned dilettante archeologist, Gustaf Kossina (who also gets the title of the (prior) turn of the century’s most prominent self-hating Pole), the Nazi Martin Jahn or the old Spinner Herwig Wolfram. Indeed, Kokowski’s book cites many of the above (and then some) approvingly as authorities on this topic. Usually, citing a Nazi for substantive claims is not the best career move but, hey, Nazi, Shmatzi (I’ve written about these gentlemen before.
Kokowski, who branched out into Vandals, taking time from his primary career focus of locating Goths (the man finds Goths wherever he looks – about the only thing he can’t ever locate are Suavs – perhaps even today) seems to believe that the Przeworsk culture must have been Vandalic because, among other things, a few Przeworsk artifacts had been found in Denmark. Now this is, of course, quite an unassailable argument… But it does leave one confused since, typically, a finding of a clearly Scandinavian provenance in Poland would, among the researchers of this crowd, be viewed as proof of Scandinavian presence in Poland. Yet the finding of Przeworsk artifacts in Scandinavia proves that all of Przeworsk was Scandinavian. This method of conducting archeology appears distressingly similar to the method described before here by Karel Sklenář: “wherever a single find of a type designated as Germanic was found, the land was declared ancient German territory.“
Of course, as far as the substance is concerned, there is less evidence for the existence of the Vandals in Poland in antiquity than there is for Chinese in the Americas pre-Columbus (indeed even less than for Goths!). In effect, both Kokowski and Menzies are activists of a cause and their science, such as it is, stands on the ever-wobbly feet of wishful thinking. The only difference is that the UK has not made the latter a professor of anything. That is pretty much all that needs to be said about the theories spouted by Kokowski, and others.
Guerriero Ostrogoto!
Kokowski, who, I think, is a sincere believer in his theories, is not alone. Other academics are excited to find allegedly foreign artifacts in Poland. Here you can find out about the Bodzia cemetery where Andrzej Buko found a “Viking” using genetic testing. How can you argue with genetics – a “hard” science after all. Now, the testing showed that this particular Viking’s closest relatives today live in Tyrolean Alps (not Scandinavia or Russia where he is said to have come from) but never mind that since, after all, even the hilly Tyrol may have once sat under the Tethys Ocean.
Vikings in Tyrol
Another archeologist, Ewa Pawlak discovered a silver cup and a spoon with old-Germanic “runic” inscription at Jarocin. How do we know these runes were Germanic – as in Teutonic? Surely, because they decoded the runes, right? Unfortunately, that was not possible so they just concluded that since runic alphabets were used by people living in Central Europe and since we all know that Central Europe was at the time occupied by Teutons, therefore the spoon must be Teutonic too… thereby, proving definitively that Teutonic tribes occupied Central Europe at that time. It is unclear whether these folks believe that the present finding of the Latin alphabet and Arabic numerals in Poland strongly suggests that Poland is currently primarily occupied by an Italian-Arabic mix (perhaps, Indian, given the origin of our numerals). (Incidentally, if anyone knows where a picture of that spoon may be obtained, let me know – the spoon seems to have gone underground).
Ze proof vee hav biin veiting vor!
If you are interested in alternative history of the type practiced by Menzies or Kokowski, check out Manuel Rosa’s Columbus book where the author claims Columbus was a Polish prince (actually (part-Portuguese and part) Lithuanian since, his father – Władysław III of Varna – had both Lithuanian parents – Władysław II (Jogaila) and Sophia of Halshany). In any event, whatever his parentage, the Chinese apparently beat him to the Americas. Sigh.
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